TheAlleyway


Calii. Newly 19. Bay Area, Ca. model,photographer,&collegestudent.

I'm quite strange and peculiar.

A horror fanatic, deviant, sadomasochist, and wiccanwitch.

Hungarian vampire&wayfaring gyspy.

Future forensic psychologist and neurologist.

Wave Your Magic Wand Over Here For My Waifu

Look into my dreams.


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Tonight I had a very horrible family crisis happen. A very close family member of mine tried to commit suicide and has suffered brain damage due to it. My families life have been put on hold due to this. I have quit all weekend plans, including the runway show and seeing close friends I was very excited to see, to be with my family and tend to what is important.
I am a mental health activist for better treatment for the mentally ill and future research into disorders. Living with SEVERE depression is a horrific experience, it’s like being put into a dark ditch and all you can do it reach up hoping for a hand to grab yours to pull you out but that hand never comes. Majority of the time you feel alone even though you may have many others around you.
I personally suffer from a hand full of mood instability issues and know the feeling all to well so this is hitting me hard. I can’t sleep and I don’t know what to do as I am trying to keep myself together.
Everyone, PLEASE just show your loved ones you LOVE them any chance you get. Be an open ear to those who need to speak to someone. Just be a KIND person in general to strangers. Spread positive vibes. Please.

My fast can’t come soon enough and getting into the routine of working out; just starting my overall health journey I plan on embarking in next month will be such a positive change in my life. It’s time for a life style change that will benefit me on so many levels. I’m working hard on having a good mental health constantly with amazing professionals and it’s time to have my body match that. I plan on starting yoga while on the fast and joining meditation groups, along with evening walks every night. This commitment is something that is very personal to myself and I can imagine being very spiritual one.
I never talk about this and it’s something I try to hide from to world due to the shame I feel. I suffer from a hand full of mental disorders that have made my life a struggle on so many levels. I fight every day of my life within myself to over power the thoughts and emotional rollercoaster my mind throws me into living with severe mood instability and panic disorders. The overeating to very common among suffers of depression and it’s something I am going to get help with during this medical fast with counselors (yes counselors need counselors sometimes! lol!) and learn how to have a healthy relationship with food as I’m winged back onto it. And I can only imagine how much this will benefit my mental health.
Then hopefully start back in on kickboxing and pole as I weight train once I can eat again. (Goals are good, writing up my own treatment plan!)
I’m pushing myself to become the me I want to be. A healthy me. To be comfortable within myself.
Step by step. One day at a time. At my own pace.
I do plan on updating progress on my blog and probably will get back on instagram.

exisst:

♡

exisst:

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Tyler Kent White (via lawschoolsam)

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flower-nymph:

Has always been my fav bedroom pic

flower-nymph:

Has always been my fav bedroom pic

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lovequotesrus:

Everything you love is here

lovequotesrus:

Everything you love is here

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Tobias Kruse

Tobias Kruse

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